From gold stars to reward apps, many parents rely on incentives to encourage good behaviour.
Reward charts may harm children’s sense of right and wrong
Yet some experts believe these tools could be doing more harm than good.
The idea isn’t new. Philosopher Immanuel Kant argued more than 200 years ago that rewarding children for being “good” teaches them to act for personal gain rather than because something is right.
He said: “If you punish a child for being naughty, and reward him for being good, he will do right merely for the sake of the reward; and when he goes out into the world and finds that goodness is not always rewarded, nor wickedness always punished, he will grow into a man who only thinks about how he may get on in the world, and does right or wrong according as he finds advantage to himself.”
Modern research appears to back this up. A well-known 1973 study by Mark Lepper, David Greene and Richard Nisbett found children promised rewards for drawing later lost interest in the activity altogether.
Further research found that while rewards can improve behaviour short-term, they may reduce a child’s natural motivation over time.
For parents, the reality is often more complicated. Sticker charts and small rewards can feel like a lifeline during busy mornings or bedtime battles.
But some experts now suggest focusing less on incentives and more on helping children understand emotions, consequences and empathy.
Clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy, who has moved away from reward-based systems, says they “feel awful for kids and parents,” instead encouraging approaches rooted in connection and emotional regulation.
Developmental psychologist William Damon also stresses that children’s sense of right and wrong develops gradually - and can’t be built on rewards alone.
As parenting trends evolve, the question many are now asking is simple: are quick fixes like sticker charts shaping behaviour - or shaping the reasons behind it?