A viral parenting trend is prompting concern among therapists.
Experts warn viral parenting trend may encourage harsh and inconsistent discipline
The rise of so-called ‘FAFO’ parenting on TikTok has sparked debate, with experts warning the approach may promote harsh discipline and emotional instability rather than constructive boundary-setting.
The trend, shorthand for “F*** Around Find Out”, centres on allowing children to face immediate consequences for their behaviour.
Videos circulating online show parents adopting extreme responses, including throwing devices away, leaving children out in the cold, or withholding meals when instructions are ignored.
While consequence-based parenting is not new, professionals argue the tone and delivery of this trend marks a shift. Nettie Bowie, a child and adolescent psychotherapist, said the approach risks being driven by frustration rather than measured discipline.
She said: "The phrase itself carries a hardness that doesn’t hold any emotional stability for the child. FAFO parenting also becomes problematic when consequences are delivered not from a place of assertiveness, but out of anger and frustration."
The debate reflects a wider struggle among parents attempting to balance ‘gentle parenting’ with more traditional, stricter approaches.
Many report uncertainty about when to enforce boundaries and when to accommodate a child’s emotional needs, particularly in cases involving stress, fatigue, or behavioural challenges.
Experts emphasise that while children benefit from experiencing consequences, consistency and emotional regulation from parents are essential. Dramatic or reactive punishments, they warn, may instead model unhealthy expressions of anger and undermine a child’s sense of security.
Bowie said: "By remaining calm, firm and emotionally regulated even in the face of defiance, parents will find that they do not need to shout, threaten or perform dramatic gestures to maintain boundaries."
She added that effective parenting lies in what she describes as “assertive parenting”, a balanced approach combining clear limits with emotional attunement to a child’s individual needs.
As parenting advice continues to trend online, experts caution against adopting viral methods without considering their long-term psychological impact, stressing that discipline should prioritise stability, consistency, and care over performance.